Hughes, you need to read this before you go to college and you need to go ahead and apologize to your roommates. You, my son, are a sleepwalker. Not only a sleepwalker but a urinating sleepwalker.
You have been caught several times already in your short 7-year life in the process or about to "shake the dew off your lily" (Bull and Kentos use to say this).
Since moving to Virginia, you have done it twice. Once in the corner of the bathroom. Yes, you made it to the correct room but you didn't make it to the toilet. Instead, you found a nice corner of tile and proceeded to unleash.
This last time happened a few nights ago. I had already gone to bed and left dad up working. You came wandering into the den in a sleepy haze while fidgeting with yourself. You then made your way to the kitchen where Dad heard you opening cabinet doors. Thankfully, your dad got up and found you opening the "pots and pans" drawer and pulling down the front of your pajama pants.
It was a close call. Your Future Scholar account was about to be charged for new pots and pans but they were saved. You were escorted to the toilet and all was right with the world.
And, if at 7 and sober you already have a propensity for doing this kind of thing then no telling what kind of antics you are going to do in college. Remember, I've been there and done that. Well, I have not done what you are doing but I've heard about boys doing the aforementioned.
So, take my advice and go ahead and apologize to your roommates because you most likely are going to shower their closet.
Love,
Your mother who is tired of picking up Legos but loves you immensely
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